A gem from High Fidelity‘s official website. That site doesn’t exist anymore apparently. Even WayBack Machine has no idea where this is:

Potential monkey shockers, take heed.

I’m thankful for the McLaughlin Group mention, since it gives me license to entertain weird visions of John dirty-talking Neve Campbell (his then lady) in the sack, except using John McLaughlin’s voice. Hahaa. Almost makes me want to pursue a career as a sex pundit (you know, if that were a career, and if it weren’t also creepy and voyeuristic). But instead of a roundtable with people, I’d do it MST3K style with robots in tow (preferably from the comfort of outer space), and with the ‘S’ of course standing for “Sexxxxx”.

The sex act is surreal enough as it is… but add in a soundtrack? I feel like this would be distracting. However, in honor of Rob, Dick and Barry’s Top 5… I would like to offer up my own top 5 (you know, if I were going to take it seriously, and if I were into that sorta thing):

Top 5 Songs to Make Love To

1. Röyksopp – “True to Life”
2. Q-Burns Abstract Message – “Differently”
3. Broken Social Scene – “Looks Just Like the Sun”
4. Sneaker Pimps – “Post-Modern Sleaze”
5. Lady Gaga – “I Like It Rough” (for shits and giggles, though I do not actually like it rough, fyi)

Bonus track: Cocteau Twins – “Ribbed and Veined” (lol, ignore the title. This is my pick for if I were to ever have sex in outer space.)